 |
| Match Details |
| Round |
Round 5 |
| Opposition |
Sagggy Greens |
| Date |
15-Nov-2003 |
| Ground |
Heffron |
| Match Summary |
| Result |
|
| Sagggy Greens 1st innings |
8 wickets, 143 runs
|
| Kurrajong Gypsies 1st innings |
all out, 115 runs
|
| Match Report |
05 > The Gypsies v Saggy Green
"You've Got Nuthin'!"
On the streets of Baghdad they were asking the same question as the world’s media: Th e Saggy
Green Cricket Circus may have won the war, but could they win the peace?
When the tanks rolled onto the Heff ron Hockey fi eld, even the ageing neo-conservative Gypsy
slips cordon couldn’t contemplate the thrashing they were to receive from the terrorists in saggy green
berets. Th e Gypsies were prepared for trench warfare but Saggy responded with street to street small
arms fi re, rocket-propelled cricket balls and crude sledges. Not pretty, but eff ective. It tied down the
Gypsy heavy artillery. Not one Gypsy tank commander could register more than two kills, and the
Saggy Ministry of Information left the initial skirmish claiming 143, though this was later queried by
the Red Cross and offi cial independent scoring media outlets.
Gypsy President (Acting), Kitty Bush Vanstead was later heard to proclaim “Yer with us or yer agin
us” for no other reason than he liked the way it sounded echoing around the confi nes of his 10 gallon
Gypsy cap.
Upon the resumption of hostilities, Saggys struck the early blows, wiping out the advance batallion of
Davies and Gray with only the gentlest of lobbed grenades. James Wolfowitz Gray, the most ‘neo’ of all
the conservatives, denied that he had planned it this way all along or even had anything to do with the
current Gypsy high command. Davies’ departure for zero meant that he would be the fi rst to be fi ned
for insubordination, or else front an esky court martial.
Darrel Howard Archer threw his weight behind the cause but ultimately had nothing to provide
except words and arse licking. Steve Blair Barnett was all the way with Bush, and the suspicion he was
embedded with the Americans was later to be confi rmed.
Dave Rumsfi eld Colman may be known as the Secretary of Defence but he also showed a mean fl air
for counter attack and held the middle ground while those around him fell on their swords. Th e old
fi ghter recalled the glory days of the earlier 1991 battle at Heff ron when Bush’s father declared an
innings of hostilities over before tea on the third day and with Saggy’s palaces within view. He’d sworn
vengeance then and now was the time.
Cameron Cheney Hamilton proved to be a Dick in more ways than one. Th e pretender to the throne
couldn’t get it up again and left the battlefi eld with only 4 notches on his belt. Once again it was left to
President (Acting) Bush to support Rumsfi eld and they put up the only decent fi ght. Eventually though
even they succumbed to the Saggy weight of fi repower – though Rumsfi eld claimed 38 and Bush 22.
From then on there were a couple of token eff orts – the rhythmic but ultimately hopeless Wesley-Smith
Powell and Nathan Condoleeza Cohen.
Tony Bremer Masters tried to clean up the mess left over by Bush, Rumsfi eld, Wolfowitz and Cheney.
He wasn’t joking when he said “I’m here for the long haul” and “won’t leave till the job is done”. Bremer
was the last man standing when Lindsay Crean Cohen put up only token opposition and placed his
future in doubt.
So the Saggy Green Cricket Circus repelled the invader this time, but one battle does not make a war.
As a peace of sorts descended over the Moore Park and South-East Cricket Association the Gypsy High
Command were already planning Operation “You’ve Got Nothing”.
Saggy Green Cricket Circus 8 for 143 defeated Th e Gypsies 115.
You’ve got nuthin!
|
|
|
| Sagggy Greens 1st innings |
| Cohen, Nathan |
7 overs, 1 for 14 |
| Hamilton, Cameron |
10 overs, 1 for 30 |
| Cohen, Lindsay |
4 overs, 2 for 24 |
| Wesley-Smith, Jed |
9 overs, 2 for 21 |
| Masters, Tony |
10 overs, 2 for 46 |
|
| Kurrajong Gypsies 1st innings |
| Gray, James |
1 |
| Davies, Andrew |
0 |
| Colman, Dave |
38 |
| Archer, Darrell |
6 |
| Barnett, Steve |
3 |
| Hamilton, Cameron |
4 |
| Fenton-Smith, Will |
22 |
| Wesley-Smith, Jed |
9 |
| Cohen, Nathan |
6 |
| Masters, Tony |
1* |
| Cohen, Lindsay |
8 |
|
|
